The Overwhelmed but Present Parent
As one of the only present caregivers in my child’s life, I sometimes get overwhelmed, and I admit I need help. Carrying the little one 24/7 can be stressful. But in all of this, I’ve come to understand something vital: cherishing baby moments matters more than convenience.
One of these days, I handed him to his dad so I could quickly do one or two chores that really needed my attention. Then he started to cry. His dad kept calling my name to come get him.
Being the caring partner that I am, I understood the situation and handled it. Only for this man to say, “I didn’t think it would be like this.”
He Thought It Would Be Easy
I didn’t understand what he meant, so I asked for clarification. I reminded him that having a child requires being mentally prepared. But that’s not what he meant. His actual response?
“No, not that. I never imagined this part. In my head, it was to give birth, and then we would have a full-grown child.”
I gave him a fully intimidating side-eye (as if he could even be intimidated).
What he meant was: Let’s skip the hard work.
Daydreaming of Easier Days
There are things I want to do, and sometimes I need help, especially with carrying the little one. So naturally, I ask my partner when he’s around. Still, I often find myself imagining my baby at 5 years old, running around the house, well past the age of tantrums (yes, in my imagination, no tantrums exist).
If he’s 5, I’ll have my own personal errand runner.
“Junior, get me the remote,” even though I can easily stretch and grab it.
Or, “Junior, see who’s at the door.”
But is that why I have a child?
Wishing for Words, Not Wails
Sometimes I wish I could skip to that age, when I didn’t have to endure the crying, his only way of communicating. I’d much prefer words, please! Thank you.
But then again, I don’t want to skip the laughs and smiles. For some reason, it’s so cute when it’s just gum and no teeth. A baby’s laughter is sincere and full of life. When my baby laughs, my heart skips a beat, and I’m instantly happy.
Imagine Skipping
The Tiny Details That Make It All Worthwhile
Imagine skipping that moment when a baby switches from crying to laughing within seconds.
Or when they wrap their whole fist around just one of your fingers.
Or when they press their tiny palm into yours, and your brain registers the difference in size, and in life.
Milestones and Moments You Can’t Replace
The anticipation that comes with every milestone—rolling over, sitting, crawling, standing, and that unforgettable first step.
Where’s the fun in skipping that?
Imagine skipping the part where you act like a complete fool just to get a giggle or participation.
Even when I’m frustrated at night from lack of sleep, something I do in my drowsy state amuses him, and he smiles. And just like that, the sleep disappears from my eyes, and I find energy to repeat whatever I did, just to see him smile again.
I Don’t Want to Skip Anything
Loving the Now, Longing for Later
There’s a quote that says, “You can’t miss what wasn’t there.”
But this, this is the littlest I’ll ever see my baby before he grows up and stops paying me attention.
Right now, I love trying to get his attention, and he seeking mine.
I love that he’s attached to me. Because when the time comes that he doesn’t need me, I’ll be the one craving his attention.
He’ll Never Be This Little Again
So no, I don’t want to skip anything.
Let me enjoy these moments.
Other relatable cherishable moments you don’t want to miss are described in this medium article
I won’t have another him, because he’s the only one that’s him. And he won’t ever be at this stage again.
During the birthing process, or those difficult first few months, I may have sworn never to do this again. But looking at the little one now? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Parenting Requires Presence, Not Skipping
Like any worthwhile process, good results take hard work and consistency.
Even parenting.
Especially parenting.
Things will never be the same for me, but deep down, I know that as he grows older, I’ll long to return to these very moments I’m living now.
Memories Matter: Why Skipping Isn’t an Option
Thank God for mobile phones and Snapchat.
I’ve taken a thousand pictures and videos. My phone is full. But Snapchat is still free (for now), and so is Google Drive.
So I’m storing these moments for memories, and living them too.
Skipping is not an option.
